Watch any movie in the last 50 years that contains both technology and a villain, and chances are that movie will contain some kind of evil plot to take over the world using a satellite. And while the retreat into space seems to be one of the most foolproof evil plans in existence (I mean, you're putting your evil, world-overtaking device in space!! What could go wrong?) something inevitably goes wrong. So here's a list of 10 reasons why you should probably cross out the whole section involving a satellite from your evil plan, and instead use the satellite for something more practical, like watching evil cat videos on the Internet.

1. First, your plot is probably totally lame.

Take for example the evil plot in the Bond movie Die Another Day. In this film, British billionaire Gustav Graves creates a giant orbital mirror satellite "Icarus" with the purported design to provide concentrated sunlight to crops to help them grow faster. It is not until later that we find that Graves is actually planning to use Icarus as a kind of giant magnifying glass, with the Korean Demilitarized Zone acting as the proverbial anthill, thus allowing North Korea to invade South Korea and unite the countries by force. There's only one problem with this plan.

It's stupid. It's a stupid plan.

You mean to tell me you couldn't think of a better way to give North Korea access to South Korea than to launch a giant mirror into orbit and burn your way through a safe-zone? And then what? You expect no one will notice? And what were you planning to do with the mountain of lawsuits coming your way for pulling this little stunt on the polar ice caps? Forget about James Bond - it's the EPA you need to worry about:

Don't even get me started on the "invisible car." Shame on you, Die Another Day.

2. And expensive.

In an earlier Bond iteration, Diamonds Are Forever, 007 must thwart yet another satellite-based plot to take over the world. Here, Bond villain Ernst Stavro Blofeld is stockpiling diamonds to help focus a giant satellite laser with which he unloads mayhem on the United States military, blowing up missiles and even (somehow) submarines that are several leagues underwater.

Here's the thing, if you superheat a diamond in the absence of oxygen, as is suggested by the film, you might have a couple of successful "laserings" before the diamond transforms into graphite (IT'S SCIENCE, PEOPLE!), meaning you're going to have to get someone to replace the diamond every so often, which means more diamonds and more flights to and from the satellite. Doesn't seem sustainable.

3. And if you didn't know by now, James Bond will almost certainly destroy it - and look good in the process.

Let's get one thing straight: if you're nemesis is James Bond, and you're about to launch a satellite, just don't. It's not going to work. This guy has been downing satellites for almost 50 years! Need more proof? Take a look at GoldenEye, in which yet again, 007 thwarts an evil villain's attempts to take over the world with a satellite. Thankfully, refreshingly, this plot doesn't involve a laser, but rather an EMP (electro-magnetic pulse) set to disable communications and financial systems. It's also arguably the best bond film in the Pierce Brosnan era.

Really one of the most redeeming qualities of this scheme is the fact that, once again, we get to see Sean Bean die on screen (skip to 5:52).

4. You're just asking for jokes like these to be made about it.

The whole satellite scheme also opens the door for humiliation. Even if you've lauched the deadliest satellite known to man, if it even remotely looks like a part of the human anatomy, people will be laughing at you too hard to take your threats seriously. Just take a look at this clip from Goldmember to see what I mean:

5. If your satellite scheme actually works, life will be incredibly boring.

So let's say your satellite-based scheme actually works. You knock out perhaps the only person left to oppose you, thus securing world domination. You win. Now what? That is the exact dilemma facing the villain-turned-hero and title character in Megamind. After apparently destroying Metro Man with his death ray satellite, Megamind takes over Metrocity, and even erects a giant statue of himself in the town square. But after mere days of doing whatever he wants, he gets so bored that he actually creates a hero-turned-villain who does more damage to the city than he could ever imagine.

Sure, everything worked out well for Megamind in the end - he got the girl, he became the hero - but consider that the exception to the rule (and SPOILER ALERT: the death ray might not have been as effective as Megamind thought).

6. You're giving good guys permission to break the laws of physics.

Okay, so let's take a step away from satellites harnessing the power of the sun, and move onto satellites that can actually harness the power of the human mind, a major plot point in the 2015 film Kingsman: The Secret Service. In an attempt to keep humanity from destroying the planet, Internet billionaire (why is it always billionaires?) Richmond Valentine implants microchips in the brains of some of the planet's best and brightest, putting the rest of mankind at the mercy of a satellite signal which causes people to want to kill each other. The satellite signal operates through legitimate means, transmitting through cell phone SIM cards, ensuring that its reach is absolute. Not a terrible plan.

Unfortunately, the plan ultimately opens the door for the protagonist to ignore the laws of physics altogether. In a pivotal scene towards the end, Roxy, one of the good guys, gets on a high-altitude balloon and blows up Valentine's satellite with a missile. The kind nerds at IMDB, have debunked this strategy as physically impossible:

First, a satellite in low-earth orbit is moving at roughly 17,000 mph. The chances of hitting something moving that fast with a missile, in a balloon, is impossible. And even if the satellite is in geostationary orbit (meaning its speed has matched the speed of the Earth's rotation), that would mean the satellite is over 21,000 miles away from the earth - far past the range of an ordinary missile. So, take that bad guys and physics!

7. You might destroy London, and that's where Adele lives.

Out of all the ludicrous plots to destroy the Earth using satellites, none have unleashed destruction on a greater scale than Project Zeus in G. I. Joe: Retaliation. Bravo to Cobra for basing its plot in the sound science of kinetic bombardment:

There's just one problem with this plan. Cobra chose London as its first target - and that's where Adele lives. In case you couldn't tell from her latest song, Hello, THAT WOMAN HAS BEEN THROUGH ENOUGH!! Way to ensure total lack of any future support for your schemes, Cobra. The Joes won't even need to go after you; they'll leave that job to the army of twentysomething girls throughout the world to tear you apart.

**8. Aloha. Just, Aloha. Need we say more?**

While not necessarily a plot to take over the world, the satellite scheme in Aloha is kind of evil, as the satellite in question contains a secret nuclear payload. But it's not the most evil thing about this film. That title is reserved for Cameron Crowe's casting choice of Emma Stone as a Hawaiian. Even though the satellite thing is just a subplot (as well as an opportunity to see Bill Murray do his thing), we're still blaming it for the existence of this movie.

**9. If you're asking employees to volunteer as the satellite, you've already lost.**

If you're a villain that also happens to be a giant transforming robot, then you have a bit more wiggle room in terms of how to enact your stupid satellite plan. In the case of Transformers II: Revenge of the Fallen, Soundwave (one of the Deceptacons) has been selected to remain in orbit as a satellite relaying communications to his comrades. Good plan, right? But let's think about everything that's wrong with this idea.

This plot assumes that Soundwave is not only good at his job, but also not easily distracted or bored. And based on Michael Bay's interpretation of the franchise, all transformers, good or evil, are subject to human emotions, and therefore human folly. Who's to say that Soundwave won't simply doze off while he's supposed to be surveilling literally the entire planet below? What's to keep him from annoying Megatron to death with questions like, "what's going on down there?" and "Hey, does somebody wanna switch?"

Luckily for the Decepatcons, Soundwave is kind of a heartless jerk.

10. Also, you could be furthering the career of Shia LeBeaof:

Another note on Transformers II: Revenge of the Fallen. Even bad guys have standards, right?