Comcast Apologizes for Renaming Customer "A**hole"


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Written by Guest | Last Updated February 24th, 2020
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You thought Comcast simply treating you like an a**hole is rough. Cable horror stories are as pervasive as airline travel hassle stories. Everybody's got one but, of course, yours is the worst. Nuh-uh. Not anymore, buster. Your story has been trumped forever by Lisa and Ricardo Brown from Washington state.

That's because a Comcast customer service rep actually changed Ricardo's name on their monthly statement to "A**hole Brown." (Unlike me, the rep spelled out the entire expletive without asterisks.) Right there on the bill!

I'm sure the postal carrier was a bit confused by the new household resident -- and probably more than a little reticent as to how to deliver the bill properly. So awkward.

What terrors, pray tell, did Lisa inflict upon the downtrodden Comcast rep? According to, Lisa merely requested to cancel the cable portion of her bill. She attests that she was polite the entire time, despite being transferred to a retention specialist who, much like an auto dealer's "Finance Manager," brings more advanced brainwashing tactics to bear on the unsuspecting customer. (Just kidding, they don't really brainwash you. I. Was. Told. To. Say. That.)

Comcast's crack PR team jumped on the story to prove just how awesome their customer service can be -- at least after there's enough press coverage. Steve Kipp, Comcast's regional communications VP told, "We have spoken with our customer and apologized for this completely unacceptable and inappropriate name change."

The Browns and Comcast are still arguing over an appropriate refund. Seriously, Comcast? Do you even understand customer service, bro?

Comcast has also said they will terminate the employee responsible. I don't know about you, but that word "terminate" in the same sentence as "Comcast" feels a little more final than just losing your job. What of the burnt-out customer service reps who remain? My advice: Take two beers and jump.


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