(by Guest Author Maddie Goldie)
Dating. What a game! The hunt, the chase, the flirtation, the romance... It can be fleeting and electrifying all in one evening. Dating can also be a huge let down, no matter what stage of life you are in.
For those in our more "mature" years, the dating scene introduces all sorts of new personalities that perhaps we never experienced when we were younger, and it reintroduces some annoying personalities that never seem to go away.
So next time you want to hit up www.seniorpeoplemeet.com, be on the lookout for these 6 Annoying Personalities that could be sneaking into your next night out on the town
1. The StoryTeller
It's hard enough to get back into the dating scene without all your children or grandchildren giving their opinions of why you should or should not be dating, but then you meet that person who ALL she talks about is her family! For example,
"Yes, that story about your granddaughters singing 'You Are My Sunshine' to you on your birthday is adorable. Oh...AND you made it into your ringtone? Interesting..."
"No, I don't want to hear about your ex and how those were the best 25 years of your life."
"And yes, you have told me that story about your father during WWII...five times already."
"Do you even know my first name? I'll give you a hint, it's the same name as one of your 10 great grandchildren. "
2. The Traditionalist
Some of us should actually "Leave It to Beaver" himself. A good first date is not me cooking dinner for you while you watch the ol' pigskin on the television. Also, that "new-fangled thing" is called an iPhone. It's actually pretty easy to use, and I get to talk to my daughter every day because of it, sometimes twice a day if I send her a text. What is a text? Think of it as an instant telegram...without all the STOPs. Lastly, please stop calling me "Doll Face" or "Sugar".
3. The Walking Medical Chart
Nothing quite sets the romantic mood like hearing about your latest insulin order, the bunion on your foot, and the cyst you got drained "down there" last week. Please, tell me more, while I use your restroom to relieve myself of my nausea.
I don't need to hear about all your aches, pains, and medications. I get it. You're old. Your body is falling apart. So is mine. Let's just both agree that we both hurt any given day and just move on. Now, how about that walk on the beach?
4. The Senile One
I feel like this one is self-explanatory, especially if the clicking dentures at dinner didn't get your attention first:
"Did you put in your hearing aid?"
"HUH? WHAT DID YOU SAY?"
"DID. YOU. PUT. IN. ...oh, forget it."
5. The Hefner
We have all been out with at least one of these. He dresses nice. He is definitely a charmer. Well, he was until he invited you to sleepover after your first date at Starbucks, where he hinted that you should get the green tea instead of the Caramel Frappuccino. Why the tea? Because, "you've gone this long without letting yourself go. Why start now?"
6. The Penny Pincher
Mr. Scrooge, you can't take it all with you when you die. So tonight, can we drive the car outside your 5-mile radius and eat someplace nice that doesn't have a "$10 and Under" menu? Oh, and while we're at it, you pay for the whole bill tonight. Ok? Great, thanks.
What are some other obnoxious personalities or habits you have run into while dating in your later years? Let's hear them! Comment below.