5 Hilarious Amazon Reviews

By: Natalie Mootz  |  February 3, 2015


Reviews from real consumers on websites like Amazon are a great way to assess whether a particular product will work for you.

Occasionally, however, you come across some products just make you go, “Hmmmm?”

Fortunately for us, the internet was invented so we can collectively cock our heads to the side in confused-puppy mode and revel in the creative reviews of these unique items. I’ve highlighted some of the actual reviews here.


  • Thinking about eating it in hopes of turning into the hulk.
  • Will NOT give your pet super powers if eaten. R.I.P Chairman Meow.
  • I bought this product 4.47 billon years ago, and when I finally got it, it was half empty.

Unicorn Meat

  • Of course this isn’t as good as fresh, but who has time to hunt unicorns these days?
  • I even keep a few cans at the office for those late nights.
  • My only concern is that after feeding it to my infant son, his diaper was filled with skittles.

Food Tray That Attaches to Your Car’s Steering Wheel

  • I read some 4 and 5 star reviews by those who used this device successfully to change a baby while driving. On that basis, I bought one. I put my baby on it and drove for over an hour. It did not change. Same baby.
  • It allows me to prop my sheet music against the wheel, allowing me to play the guitar with both hands while driving.
  • These worked great in the cockpit for our transcontinental flights!

Banana Slicer

  • I tried the banana slicer and found it unacceptable. As shown in the picture, the slices are curved from left to right. All of my bananas are bent the other way.
  • Once I figured out I had to peel the banana before using – it works much better.
  • There is no way to tell if this is a standard or metric banana slicer.

How to Avoid Huge Ships

  • Read this book before going on vacation and I couldn’t find my cruise liner in the port. Vacation ruined.
  • I make a living by hitting things with my Huge Ship. This book is absolutely DESTROYING my business!
  • It mentions nothing about how huge ships shouldn’t be running into you in the first place. It paces all blame and responsibility on the victim.

We’ll post more hilarious reviews next week!

About Natalie Mootz

Natalie has been writing for the web since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Or at least since dinosaurs achieved blogging technology. She's also written for About.com and Joystiq.


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