5 More Hilarious Amazon Reviews

By: Natalie Mootz  |  February 10, 2015


Last week we launched our series of Hilarious Amazon Reviews. I’m sure you all went out and bought some unicorn meat to celebrate. I know I did. (Tastes like chicken.) So I’m back serving up another dish of Amazon Reviewer-created comedy this week. Enjoy!

The 2009-2014 Outlook for Wood Toilet Seats in Greater China

  • This is, without a doubt, still a better story than Twilight.
  • WARNING – **NOT** a MicroSoft product!!!!
  • I can’t believe they got Nicholas Cage for the movie.

A Million Random Digits with 100,000 Normal Deviates

  • It’s a shame they didn’t sort them, to make it easier to find the one you’re looking for.
  • The bulk of each page seems random enough. However at the lower left and lower right of alternate pages, the number is found to increment directly.
  • For a supposedly serious reference work the omission of an index is a major impediment.

Accoutrements Horse Head Mask

  • This mask imbues the wearer with super-human abilities. The power to make everyone around you feel awkward and uncomfortable being first among them.
  • It is day 87 and the horses have accepted me as one of their own.
  • It’s not big enough to completely cover a horse’s head, and it doesn’t provide enough air flow for them, either.

UFO-02 Detector, Magnetometer

  • I don’t know if this is a scam or if mine was broken, but it doesn’t work and I am still getting abducted by UFO’s on a regular basis.
  • I, as a resonable and trUstworthy hUman, do not gleep nerp this ungood prodUct. Bad it is for Us hUmans to purchase and opperate this online pUrchasable prodUct.

Samsung UN105S9 Curved 105-Inch 4K Ultra HD 120Hz 3D Smart LED TV
Price: $119,999.99 (Free Shipping)

  • The box it came in is incredibly roomy too, which is a huge bonus, because I live in it now.
  • Small screen size is a deal breaker. I recommend buying an IMAX theater instead.
  • Great as a second monitor.

About Natalie Mootz

Natalie has been writing for the web since dinosaurs roamed the earth. Or at least since dinosaurs achieved blogging technology. She's also written for About.com and Joystiq.


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